My Addictions

I'm gonna spill it all. My name is Meghan, I created RIP, and I have a drug addiction problem. I have smoked marijuana since the age of twelve; smoked crystal meth for almost a year, everyday, when I was sixteen, and over the years randomly; done too many doses of ketamine, ecstasy, cocaine, and crack, and whatever else I've consumed. I'm proud (and lucky) to be able to say I have shed the ugliness that is hard drugs - almost completely. It's infrequent, but I too fall back into my ways, but only by a slight degree. Now, my problem is pot. It's been my buddy for nine years now, and thats a hell of a long time. I'm going to go to Narcotics Anonymous in the upcoming months, so that I can hopefully kick the pot completely, and to be able to truly say no to any offered substances in the future.

Now, all this is fine and dandy, but i have one bigger problem. Ever since I've been getting medical help with my mental problems, I've conveniently been supplied with lots of....drugs. Medication. I abuse them - not all the time, but enough to realize it's a problem. The things that are supposed to help fix me are creating more problems. As a result of this new addiction I've formed, I demonstrated at least some willpower and restraint by just not filling my prescriptions. This didn't work, as I need those pills horribly. Taken correctly, they really help me to function in life. But, taken the wrong way, which I sometimes do, I end up defeating the whole purpose of the medication. So, what is there left for me to do? I need these pills, but...I can't trust myself with them.

Drugs have always been my hugest downfall, and I hate them.